01:01:2023 :
New year, same old, same old.
New year's Eve was a bit strange this year. It was good : I was with the bf, we cooked a good dinner, we watched stupid videos... It is what I love to do every day of the year.
So, why am I feeling very empty inside ? I think it's because it's been years since I haven't been partying on NYE. Worst, this year it was not a choice : we were simply not invited anywhere.
But I need to think rationnaly and not let spleen consume my mind here : first, we were not invited, but did we invite people ourselves ? No we didn't. So first thing to think about is taking initatives for some things, for once. People won't always be the one to make the first steps. Second, would partying be that interesting ? I love to meet people, I love to talk, I love to be social : but I got to do it everytime during the year.
In the end, it seems more a case of hurt ego than anything else. I am allowed to be melancholic about it, but I shouldn't let it dictate my mood for the year : I had a very good date with bf, I'll soon see friends, and i'll soon meet new people.
Current OST
Jul - Veste Quechua
Nicki Minaj - We go up
LMarina - Teen Idle
Some outfits pics for the end of the year, visiting an art expo in an abandonned museum :
Nico.
26/12/2022 :
This is my first test. Let's see how it goes.
I'd like for this space to be the blog I wasn't able to get when I was a teen.I was always scared at that time to be mocked for expressing myself on the internet, so I stuck to tumblr reposts and quick replies. Forums were a safer space for me weirdly, maybe because the discussion format felt less intimidating than a blank page.
My shrink told me I should keep a journal. This won't be it entirely, but it could be a start. This Christmas was a bit sad tbh, a lot of things bottled inside of me, I realized, don't have a way to get out. This led to anger, miscommunication, and rage. Sadly I think I might need to start doing sport again (dying inside just thinking of a jogger pants omgggg), but part of letting anger and sadness go has always been throught writing. I stopped at one point, after the prepa fiasco ; let's start again, just to see what happens.
Current OST
Nico.